med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
