remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
not ubering you a puppy
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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