let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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