Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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