there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I feel like abortions should bother me more
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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