dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
