so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
