Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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