You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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