If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize