I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize