I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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