k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
