nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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