C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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