Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
