am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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