I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
