if i died would you start the facebook group?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
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You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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