This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
