We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
