How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
porn star boner night. come get it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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