i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Success! We fucked roommates!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
