My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
