I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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