I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
