how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
do herpes really smell.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
