singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Randomize