Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
