Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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