There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
