Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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