I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
