FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
