I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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