i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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