just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
