I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just want nice things and good sex
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
