You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
