whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
