She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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