dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
