Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
