Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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