are you so shy because you have an std?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
