it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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