Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He did a backflip because drugs
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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