It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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