matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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