woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
