Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i was born a porn star she said
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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