I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
