he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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