remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I will be naked everywhere
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
