just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
