He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
