His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
