I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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