No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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