She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
