Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
