Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
