drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
