this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
