yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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