Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
