just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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