Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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