discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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