I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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