Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
