I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
