As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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